I'm Off My Knees

goodbye

2006-05-23T20:44:00.000+08:00

I don't like what I wrote for the first 9 months of this blog and decided to delete the posts one by one cos Blogger doesn't have a "delete multiple posts at once" function but then my wrist started to ache so I'm starting up another one which should be permanent unless I go mad trying to understand the functions and Qis gives up on me.

<3

sometimes the butterflies still get me

2006-05-21T14:56:00.000+08:00

It's the way you love me, it's a feeling like this.
It's centrifugal motion, it's perpetual bliss.
It's that pivotal moment.
It's, ah, impossible!
This kiss, this kiss
unstoppable!
This kiss,
this kiss
:)

I've always loved the first 4 lines of the chorus of this song. <3<3<3<3

did you have a fat day?

2006-05-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

I feel so important when I forcefully withdraw myself from family talk because "I have a lit essay to write." But that feeling of significance lasts momentarily, up til the point where my notes scatter all over the place, especially when into the cracks of my brother's toes where I scream at him to GET OFF MY NOTES! And I simply abhor the feeling of not knowing a synonym of a simple word like 'flattered'.

the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

2006-05-15T17:55:00.000+08:00

I WAS ON TV!!! WE WERE ON TV!!! I WAS ON TV!!!

That and the reality that 2.4 is finally OVER made my day.
Oh and also the fact that I'm the reason somebody goes to school, though the reason is rather... indifferent.

happy mothers' day

2006-05-14T22:07:00.000+08:00

Gema was great; thought-provoking and risible, with the only set back being me being verdant with envy over Syamillah's pretty blazer. And of course, the fun in straining your eyes when there was a change of scene to see whether my Mr Boss came out. That and saying either "No laah!" exasperatedly or "Yes yes yes that's him that's him!!" fervidly when Ams asked, "That one eh? That one kaaan?" We had pretty good seats.

It's an odd, odd situation to watch your friends perform on stage. So far you've sought entertainment at the expense of their peculiar and sometimes remotely grotesque habits, their selenge-belacin-ness and suddenly they're up there in front of you, entertaining you in a more formal but still retarded way.

Twas a great day yesterday, all-in-all. And to think this peachy disposition began first thing in the morning with the poor dear escorting me, half asleep, around Marina Square in quest of finding my sister her birthday present. She turns 15 today but still cannot watch Da Vince nyenyenye! Then he sent me to madrasah [3 more frigging weeks!!!] and omg I've never been happier I SWEAR TO GOD [ahem Qis], even though I don't and will probably never fathom what form of solace he seeks in by making funny faces. Or the way he says it, "Macam terperanjat gitu you know."

love bites

2006-05-11T21:11:00.000+08:00

She thinks that just because she has a hickey she's some big shot and therefore has the right to cast aspersions on my acumen, my way of thinking, my perceptions- heck, might as well make that everything about me!

Eh Syamilot! Nak carik gadoh? Don't be kental please. >:)

I love how people spoke during the olden days.
"What in heavens do you reckon could be the reason behind the poor blonde's perpetual grousing about intense pain on her belly button? I hope this tribulation of hers is overcomed swiftly, for I cannot bare to tolerate her shrills any longer!"

"One may only hazard a guess, but I surmise her lover was a blonde as well."

please, pardon me

2006-05-10T17:05:00.000+08:00

giggles in the library
driving through curling roads
cascading down with nothing but a poncho
singing on carousels with flowers in my braids
inverting this insipid print into an invigatoring movie
rogued cheeks and summer dresses, straw hats and all
flying carpets with Aladdin; hunky whispers of, "Te quiro!"
perms, baggaged with an invisibility cloak before teleporting to Rome

there's so much I can do with you still in the back of my mind.

***

There is something so roiling about misplacing the bloody remote control that'll distract you from the bloody show. Yes I'm blaming the fact that I slept through Desperate Housewives and CSI consecutively cos of that, and not due to my biological clock that's seemingly becoming more and more warped as the days go by.

SOMEBODY FIND ME MY REMOTE ALREADY!

at the waterfront

2006-05-06T22:56:00.000+08:00

After pestering Qis to help me with the picking of shirts and eventually shoes which I am still despairingly in need of, I am now officially broke but with the prospect of next month's allowance to alleviate this pain. After that was a scheduled chick flick experience I was so willing to share with him, but in my utmost brilliance I checked the timing wrongly. So instead of watching a story about a mermaid [I was so looking forward to it I swear :( ], my heart either quivered or pulsated rapidly due to the intense suspense of MI3. Which wasn't that bad a movie experience apart from the time when I dipped my fingers into the cheese while grabbing for my bag in the darkness. But never shall I forget the way he begged me to buy the tickets for Aquamarine initially [this was when I still thought there was a movie at 4.40] cos he was too embarrassed to do it himself. The singing thingy afterward was pretty good. They sang the sweetest songs. Being under the moonlight and such romantic ambience and all, I was secretly hoping he'd turn and sing along into my ears. Well he didn't exactly sing but he did whisper, "You keep me smiling." Gotta give the boy credit for that especially since it made me go all starry-eyed nonetheless and we both know it's inevitable; he'd eventually HAVE to sing to me one day. Don't argue. :)

cheap thrills

2006-05-02T22:09:00.000+08:00

An act upon impulse is, normally, greeted with anything but cordiality. I've had my fair share of getting into profound deep shit by performing mindless acts before thinking. If I could choose again, I would've slapped myself before I dirtied the handkerchief that would've been otherwise untarnished. Now it's full of smudges and stains that I'm almost compelled to suffocate myself with it. The guilt haunted me in my dreams even! Sure, it was tantalizing and all that crapload full of rubbish, but having a highly disturbed conscience does little good for ideal sleeping methods. Such was me, and such were the memories. It's all in a big black box marked with a red cross [sadly no treasures] buried deep in my head, binded with chains and locks to which I lost the keys to.

Hopefully one day the termites will come and eat it all away so my sanity and sagacity shall be restored whole once again.

~~But what are they chances, eyy?~~

To my dear friend, I hope you come to terms with what happened. I don't know what to say, I don't know what to tell you. Partly because I know what it feels to regret and wishing you could turn back time, with the question 'What the hell got into me?' on an irritatingly chronic linger at the back of your mind. I'm as troubled as you are over what happened [I swear I almost cried when you did]; I even said a little prayer for you today. But everything happens for a reason, and time heals all wounds.

So it'll be okay. It has to be. (:

And you silly CLB, if I could choose all over again I'd still choose you!

anger management

2006-04-29T22:51:00.000+08:00

I'm exposed to so much temperamental shoutings and tempestuous characteristics that I just might get acclimated to all that. In the mornings, after school, amidst my sweet slumber... Honestly! When anger supersedes almost all other emotions, it's no wonder I'm so angry [inside] all the time.
And it's not bloody fair. To any of us.

Michael Jackson is Muslim? Somebody verify!

I wouldn't have you any other way 'cos you make me happyyy~

in sickness and in health

2006-04-29T12:27:00.000+08:00

I can't recall the last time my temperature spiked to a thirty eight point something. I don't normally succumb to illnesses. Even Irah asked, "What happened to you?" This is what happens when your friends are sick and you share drinks and infest their aura. I swear I was like a walking zombie last night, dishevelled hair and all, when I dragged myself out of bed [a miracle, because I felt paralysed] into the kitchen to swallow a panadol. Must've slept for at least 12 hours. Woke up to a screaming brother, a hungry mother and the sweetest message in the entire world. <3

The dear boy takes very good care of me. The day was on the wane and he obtunded my queasiness through the entire bus ride. Even with the sarcasm and pokes. Yes, I'm certain it was him and not the glorifying slip of laminated paper [if you disregard the C for Physics] in my bag. No, couldn't be that. Definitely him. (:

I walk for miles along the highway, well, that's just my way of sayin' I love you.

annoyance intolerant

2006-04-25T21:57:00.000+08:00

It all began this morning with my hair getting stuck in the freaking blow dryer, which I had to cut in the end. Then forcefully trudged myself into the school compound, where sheer luck that earned me a D grade for my Chemistry test was allegedly the outcome of a cheating feat. As if that wasn't enough, there's the increasing usage of the term "Minadhirah". GAWD it's like an insidious disease!

Haiii.... Entertaiment at my expense.

Oh why is it always me???

shaking with ague

2006-04-24T15:02:00.000+08:00

Slumped on the couch, privately too agog about watching Lost Season 2 which my dad had bought from China that I was almost resolutely willing to forgo lunch!

That was up til the point the DVD got jammed.

SAWYER LIVES!!

Oh where fore art thou, my knight in shining armour with the new horse? ;)
<3<3<3

international affair

2006-04-23T23:45:00.000+08:00

Went back to my alma mater [hey it was 2 solid months okay!] yesterday for the carnival. Ronin played at the foyer, so you could pretty much guess how feral the crowd was. Grooving on tables, shaking against each other... So it wasn't much of an astonishment that unless I stood at the back [where I faced the back of their heads hooray], I could hardly see anything! That was, until a certain somebody gave me a little boost. :)

FINALLY I caught Rina and Sahu's performance. Appeased my guilt for missing their debut during Pidato. But it was quite hard to concentrate watching them because sucking in helium and comparing whose voices underwent the most drastic change [it was Min, by the way haha] with a bunch of harlequins made me convulse with laughter. I was almost in tears.

And there are the rare few whom I caught fantasizing with the balloon while muttering, "One.. two.. puuush!" and the one who was so tenacious in untangling the balloon knot with his bare hands he could almost be deemed comically obstinate! In the end we ripped it with the tpjc badge. Victory!

With only two, just me and you, not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be, we'll sit beneath the mango tree now
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

- Better Together by Jack Johnson

I think I just fell in love with the rain all over again.

TK Band was endowed with a Gold with Honours. So I didn't waste my time afterall, even though it was bloody hot and there were no drinks and we had to walk half a round around the stadium that had more ventilation and was far more vacant.
But still no drinks.

And I'm down with the flu. Tissue~

bloody incubus

2006-04-22T08:43:00.000+08:00

I dreamt the whites of my eyes turned all red and brown. More red than brown, though [and hence I'm wide awake]. An exaggerated version of my multiple eyelid-ed right eye, an effect after intense rubbing with bare hands. It's earned the disgust and awe of some, but that's not entirely the point. I DON'T LIKE HAVING FIVE EYELIDS!!!

School work is piling up mountainously that I've pretty much grown torpid towards it all to the extent that I've yet to find it contemptible! I'm aware of the tasks expected to be completed, yet I sit here procrastinating. GAWD I'm such a mess my recalcitrance is beginning to vex myself, not only the teachers [which I know they will be if only they knew I do Chemistry under the table].

Speaking of growing torpid, I'm kinda growing numb towards my lack of the-grace-of-a-woman genetics. I get my skirt wet, knock down plates of unfinished fries [hmm I wonder whose hehe] and bottles of perfumes [plastic, thank God], trip over my own two feet... The list goes on. And it's been going on for years now, maybe ever since I had my first cry!

Which is why I'm so perplexed that some people still find it surprising.

Or the way he puts it, "Selenge bacin seh!"

<3

testosterone boys & harlequin girls

2006-04-18T20:49:00.000+08:00

I almost forgot the anxiety involved in sitting for a test you didn't study for. Heck, I also almost forgot the feeling of having someone shake your hand good luck from a far, and what's it like to return that handshake! Geez have I been on vacation for that long?

And GAWD am I really that vulnerable? I don't even know who or what to believe anymore. It's like I'm too obtuse to distinguish between the outrageous lies from the naked truth. Why do I always always always fall for the most blatant, moronic whoppers?

Stop picking on me already la! HAIYO!

serenade me at the esplanade

2006-04-16T22:43:00.000+08:00

The scenery from above was sublime, the soft wind was almost seducing, and I could hear this happy little chirping tune ringing inside of my head knowing that in his bag nestled the striped Zara top I finally got my hands on [though I accidentally tore the pretty paper bag on our way home]. It was perfect, in other words. Definitely more special than the other couple times I've been up there. The only thing that would've made it complete was if I'd been nimble enough to snap a picture of his spiked hair and the top of the esplanade. But nooo, he just had to awaken from his little reverie the second I slid my phone open to the camera mode. The boy clearly doesn't understand art. You know what happens next, he slides the phone shut and asks, "You nak kene kan? Ini hari you banyak sangat merepek apasal?"

But Deviantart awaits, hunn. ;)

Mardi Gras

2006-04-14T07:53:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I think it's all a dream...

... with this one especially!

got gas?

2006-04-11T18:24:00.000+08:00

The kitchen ran out of gas so we had to call the guy up. And oh my gawd I wish there's like a machine or equipment to liberate the poor fella from the burden of lugging the gas tank off the pick-up, up to the whatever-th floor in exchange for an empty one to be hauled back down and up into the pick-up once more. Imagine if the lift broke down or if there wasn't any lift until the 2nd or 3rd storey [some HDBs are made that way] or if he had to make multiple trips???

I feel like such a samaritan knowing that my kitchen will be on the first floor in my glass house.

vee four vee

2006-04-08T21:56:00.000+08:00

Who needs boys anyway?
~~Besides that Jap-wannabe, at least- she needs a boyfriend BAD!~~

we non-conformists!

2006-04-07T20:41:00.000+08:00

Took the emptier route, bought tissues from the meagre-framed frail lady, helped an old man who tumbled down the escalator [that broke my heart]...

In the wise words of Qis, "we shall not conform to society!" *chuckles*

My Battery Woman turns seventeen today!

Thou shan't deny the comeliness of Peter Solomon [was that his name?]; I could've sworn I was about to have a fit and glissade into one of those vigorous hyperventilation. Mustered all the self-control I had left to contain myself, but couldn't help but simper watching that one solitary man in his gait and pulchritude, sending people their orders.

And suddenly I've got this insatiable hanker for Delifrance ~~waiters~~.

an ode to the birthday boy

2006-04-06T21:14:00.000+08:00

Your dainty wrists regale us so
With the amalgams of hand gestures
And those effeminate maneuvers
Giggles, chuckles and laughter galore
How can we not love thee more and more?

050406 - Happy 17th, Mister!

an ode to the green eyed chick

2006-04-03T22:28:00.000+08:00

Take seventeen minus ten years, proliferate it by a melange of crazed hilarity and sagacious battles of wits, minus off the malevolence though "I'm gonna kill you!" seems to be our most favourite one-liner, and you'd still get not even a dollop of insight into our story.

Trust me, my memory's anything but insufficient when it comes to you, Nur Shereen Khan. And yeah I can be just as cheesy! :)

My Dil Goes Hmmm

2006-04-02T14:17:00.000+08:00

So I get too comfortable with him at times that I completely dismiss my self-consciousness. Next thing I know, his phone is right in front of my face, followed by that renowned clicking sound I've accustomed myself to. Yet, despite all this aggravating vexation, there's something about the way he derides and annoys me that's so endearing. Maybe it's due to his toothy grin that comes momentarily after my defeat; that loony smirk that's as smittening as it is retarded. Then there's that satisfactory beam in his eyes I just get so lost into; lost in confusion because at some point I just wonder if he really has gone nuts. Then that fking adorable laugh; he then shows me the multiple unglamorous shots of me he just captured. Then his infamous raising eyebrows signature as if to say "Aha I got you and you can't stop me!" Then comes my signature- copious smacks on his arm, followed by incessant entreaties of either "Please, please, please delete them!" or the more predominant ones, "You idiot delete them laaa!" In response, he throws his head back, laughs somemore and sticks his tongue out while rolling his pupils to the back of his head.

And that is the face that breeds the warmest sensation ever.

How quixotic, I know.

I shall not delve into extraneous details about my first attempt in shopping online because only after I've picked the Lost t-shirts that I wanted, only then did they state that they don't ship the merchandise to outside of the US.

Bloody hell.

Friday Night Live

2006-03-31T22:26:00.000+08:00

My TPJC friends are love! C=
We need to talk. You know who you are.
Shereen, you're the most precious bff ever!
Forever ever and ever ever...

Upon Yuhabelala's request, I have to list 9 traits of my Perfect Man.

Sharp, sexy, pearly-white canines. I've got a fetish for them.
Edacious lips.
Armed with wit and a fantabulous sense of humour. Laughter is a beautiful gift, as of those who bring it.
Triceps and biceps [I can tell the difference now tee hee]. Nothing beats being wrapped around strong, rigid arms.
Winks from time-to-time. I know, cooorny, but it never fails to make my heart skip a beat.
Somebody who's not only able to tolerate my melodramatic manoeuvers but also to stauch my neurotic attributes, my paranoia and my tears. Though I hardly cry.
Idle chatter is a neccessity.
Must make me melt.
Zaki. <3

I love getting lost with Lost.
The full set of Lost Season 2, anybody?
Make me happy and buuuurrrn!!

The Closure We Never Got.

2006-03-29T23:25:00.000+08:00

Reminiscence; yes I remember-

Minions of the moon, late-night trivias.
Twirling into a state of semi-delirium.
Hair flying all over your face, giggles in your ears.
Rock around the clock, like a fairytale pixie.
And you sang, through thousand adoring eyes you sang.
A language I couldn't comprehend- but I remember tingling.
Yes, I remember.
How I knew behind those shades those eyes searched for me,
how those eyes inevitably sparkled mine,
how those eyes would repeat history after your debut.
Arduous to maintain eye-contact,
yet impossible to divert the attention once hooked.
Rivetted onto that smell, that perfume
that spilled all over your bag's front pocket.
Fond memories of verbal joustling;
Sarcasm and mordancy alike.
Lame and corny jokes, though never
could I ever amount to your calibre.

Then, a quirk of fate.

Yes, I remember....

Thank you and sorry, as always. :)

The Bellow

2006-03-28T20:16:00.000+08:00

By the window sill, the echoing of his shouts and screams penetrated my ears, sending shivers down my spine. Through blatant radios, the visage of the precious little thing being harrowed further discomposed my already unhinged mind, for his howls could still be heard.

Then I unlocked the doors and decided to take a peek.

It was barely a scrape.

*smacks forehead*

Superfluous concern.

Drama king betul!

The Sugar Bowl's Empty and So is Your Head

2006-03-27T22:14:00.000+08:00

I forgot it was a Monday.

Am trying to assure myself that it attests what an assiduous student I've been, not skipping any lectures or tutorials and all, and it's only been MONDAY! I'm still trying to figure out whether it was shock or sheer consternation I felt when I walked out of the compound with Shairah at 7:15pm!!

That's obscene!

Speaking of obscene, have you ever met a guy who seemingly emanates of masculinity but in reality checks other guys out, with descriptions so thorough and precise it's as if you just emerged from one of those high-end vixenish bitching session?

It's frighteningly flummoxing now, but something tells me in a decade's time it'll be one travesty of a recollection.

These Dreams Find Their Way into My Day-to-Day Scene

2006-03-26T00:15:00.000+08:00

An Ode to the Departed

I'll make a wish for you and hope it will come true
If life will just be kind to such a gentle mind
And if you lose your way, think back on yesterday
Remember me this way

We'll remember you always, Arnold Adiguna! C=

V for V

"A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having."

V for Vendetta is undoubtedly a must-watch. By far the best NC-16 movie [hinthint, you] I've caught this year. No senseless dribbles, but sardonic yet thought-provoking content. I love all the wordplays [the portion with V alliterations was applaudable] and verbal jousting involved.

Gema Puisi Artistik

GPA [yes, G for Gema not Gempa or Gencana, genius] was not what I had expected it to be. The dull portions were comparable to an interminable sermon I was unwillingly dragged into, while the more refreshing performances almost made me laugh off my seat. A significant proportion of the amusement came from this particular guy a seat away from me who screamed "Baik Faiz!" repeatedly. *slaps forehead*

NYJC is so frigging commodious. Now I understand why most taxi drivers are clueless in navitating to that location. Saw numerous familiar faces- my ex-OGLs, ex-tpjcians and current tpjcians alike. I miss everybody.

The insanity sets in

Never will I fathom boys and their beguilement with sanitary pads. GAWD that was comical! Many apologies to KY. Heh.

"Love me, feed me and never leave me." *giggles*

I am in need of more polo-tees and purple-coloured garment to add on to my recently self-proclaimed rainbow-themed closet.

G'night!
Or good morning; whichever whatever!

Won't you give our love a chance or do you only wanna dance?

All the Pretty Things

2006-03-22T21:58:00.000+08:00

You'd think living within walking proximity of your school would save you from frazzled nerves, but nay! I'm as tired as any other college student [I've always wanted to say that]. I can only seek succor from the fact that I'm going to be able to write, hopefully, and of course the mirth engressed from new-found friends.

Lectures after lectures, and sometimes I'm stuck in the same LT for 3 periods consecutively. I don't recall my ass ever being as sore. Lit lectures regale me the most, partly because I'm getting such a kick out of eliciting sexual proclivities and innuendoes in fairytales I grew up with. Kinda kinky! ;)

School matters aside, it's been nothing but celestial happiness for two ethereal months now. It's like being near a seraphic presence. And if that's not it, I don't want to know what is.

And for that I thank thee. <3

Banana Pancakes

2006-03-19T18:17:00.000+08:00

He has this fondness in sharing sexist jokes with me, but this is the best yet. Perhaps because more often than not, he shares male-driven chauvinistic jokes but this round it's probably written by a feminist. Or a man with an exceptional sense of humour. ~~Or a gay.~~

Top 10 Reasons Why Computers are MALE.

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody's home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.

1. Size does matter.

"Our dreams, and they are made out of real things like a shoebox of photographs with sepia tone loving."

Amore Mio

2006-03-18T23:37:00.000+08:00

Bbooster shopping [only one woman can make this such frolic hehe], visiting the cavernous Imax Theatre [the vigorous fighting scenes gave me a splitting headache], watching re-runs on DVDs for 6 hours straight before scavenging for something reasonably edible to consume for dinner and other non-constructive activities that include lots and lots of kitchen talk really make one week pass by in the blink of an eye. Although I must say, it's a lot more fun when you're the one sprawled on the bed or sofa, eyes riveted on the screen, completely oblivious to the surroundings. I heard it's pretty antagonizing to be the one watching us laze around, though if I were that person I'd just let them be!!

Right now, I've this germinant interest in learning how to say "I Love You" in different languages [gee I wonder who sparked this interest hmm]. Spent a relatively large proportion of the day at the bookshop thumbing through translative dictionaries [or whatever you call them].

So far I've picked up je vous aime, ti amo, meh tumsi pyaar karta hei, and my personal favourite, MAHAL KITA. ;)

Ooh ooh I love my girlfriends!

"Je vous aime beaucoup"
You're fking adorable. <3

I can stare at this lil girl for hours on end without feeling the slightest trace of boredom.
Please don't let me get morning sickness when the time comes. Please please please.

We'll see the universe and dance on Saturn's rings

2006-03-17T14:17:00.000+08:00

Let me be your wings
Let me be your only love
Let me take you far beyond the stars
Let me be your wings
Let me lift you high above
Everything we're dreaming of will soon be ours
Anything that you desire, anything at all
Every day I'll take you higher
And I'll never let you fall

Oh Thumbelinaaa~

A Kiss is a Terrible Thing to Waste

2006-03-16T19:18:00.000+08:00

battering eyelids, sweet banters, tickles under chins
my prince draws nearer, breath-on-breath with his
can't avert my gaze, so good it must be a sin
sweet-nothings in the medley of my sunset kiss

I just adore this picture.

P.S. My phone has been returned to The Mother [not confiscated, returned cos it's hers] because I haven't shown gratitude because my bill overshot by a massive amount, since SEC ONE, according to her. And besides, it's not technically mine it's hers because she paid for it, including my bills. I don't know whatever happened to the once-you-give-somebody-something-you-can't-take-it-back-cos-it's-rude policy. I guess when you're a parent you're exempted from such etiquettes. So yeah. That's just my life- a life borrowed. Anything, call my home or leave me a tag/ drop me an e-mail.

Random Things that Complete Me

2006-03-15T21:55:00.000+08:00

Pretty pointed heels, the swooshing of dangling earrings at the tip of your fingers, sand between your toes, chronic repetition of anecdotes I've already regaled them with, princessy skirts that wave with the wind, pressing marshmallows against my palate slowly, tracing the outline of his hands with mine, chuckles in the moonlight, ice cubes stuck to tongues for a split-second, rainbow-coloured beads ricocheting off the floor...

[inspired by Hanna darling]

Met up with Andrea today. Thanks for the earrings.. the thought shall be reciprocated ahem ahem one month ahem yes I remember, despite the abysmal condition my memory is deteriorating into.

I should really, and I mean REALLY, be more self-conscious when I speak, especially when he's equipped with a camera phone switched to the 'Video' mode, even though the camera does prove to posess ghastly consequences.

If you don't know what I'm talking about then you're not AHMAD ZAKI. "Evil toot".
<3

Do You Wanna Do You Do You Wanna

2006-03-14T22:33:00.000+08:00

Unscrupulous deed to lock her in the tower
As she ages through the green moss clover
Watches below in envy as the maids pick wild thornberries
And dance through yellow daisies and fluffed daffodils
Labour boys swing through grapevines
Humming to the tune of their heart entwined
With their lady's, whose hand held in theirs
Refusing to relinquish their horror fears
She cringes scornfully at their chimerical sides
Wonders when it'll be her turn on the merry-go-ride
Ironical of her quiditty, she's caged and imprisoned
This yearning of hers to break free will season
Sequestered in her hate the very core of existence
As the maidens pirouette up with smiles that tell tales instant
Of their fully fledged lives while hers are hollow
Aberrant longing to break free from this mellow
Hell-hole that reeks of souls blinded and raw
Unable to commandeer freedom; her fate she soon saw

***

There are some people who mould and define you, and without them you wouldn't be the way you are today. They leave prominent imprints in your life, and you adapt to their way of thinking.

Today I realized who one of them is. HO KANG YUNG.
Of course there are others... you should know who you are. C=

Date Movie is retarded.
But not as retarded as the lady at the ticket counter who insisted on checking my IC. The worst retard was the woman at the entrance who, again, inspected only MINE and didn't even glance at the boyfriend. Like, hellooo???? He's not even SEVENTEEN!! Can't you tell???

I should start contemplating about heels.

This is what dreaaaams are made of

2006-03-13T08:11:00.000+08:00

It's confounding how a single thought can make monumental alterations to your sleeping pattern.

Why?
I guess it differs for each individual.

The mere vision of your significant other's smile or the faint trace of his/her laughter on a chronic linger at the back of your mind [and other happy, sappy thoughts that make singles cringe in jealousy] might either cause your heart to palpitate, unsettling your peace of mind and henceforth disrupt your sleep, or it could endow you with a sense of immense contentment and uber elation that you slip into a saturated state of satisfied sleep.

For me it's more of the latter, but then again, to each his own.

So, no, JJ, it's not 'sissy'. It's sweet.

Orientation Night

2006-03-11T09:07:00.000+08:00

MJ Campfire was a total let down, especially the dance item, which was the segment I was looking forward to the most. I guess Wet Games compensated for our dismay, except now my left eye is swollen, and not to mention the rashes from Sentosa. MJ is going to be the death of me.

Best part of the night was seeing my Battery Woman ANDREA BABY charge at me and entwine her arms around my neck. And of course my dear CLB. SURPRISE!!! <3

"You know when Zaki told me you're here I jumped up quickly then everybody laughed at me!!"

She'll never change, that crazy woman.

I ran into Shawn and Jian He last night too! They haven't changed a bit either. Still squibbling like an old married couple, still nicking my food. I miss my ludicrous Lit lessons with them. What tickled me silly was the game one of their friends made me play.

"When I say M you tap your temple once, when I say T you tap it twice. M... T... M... T..."

It took me a few seconds to realize what the catch was. And boy, were they enchantingly impressed! Apparently my aptitude in deciphering the trick far exceeded their expectations of me. I guess in a way that's pretty good.

I'm intimidating that way. Hee.
[Aisyah don't you start haha]

Hitch Hikers

2006-03-09T22:36:00.000+08:00

Things that go awry when you're forced to undergo harsh physical torture in Sentosa from 7 to 7:

1. You stare at taxis in awe.
2. Your anger manifests into something malignant.
3. You wish you were crippled/ injured so at least then you'd have an excuse not to run.

I've this sudden craving for Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough again, thanks to Fahmi.

The best part of it all was the hitch-hike!!!!

Campfire tomorrow. Fahmi shall be grooving to Don't Cha, even though he's offering me a Swensens treat if I replace him. You should see the dance, it'll crack you up.

This girl kept screaming my name in the toilet because she has the patience of a hunger tigress. Which accounts to not having any at all. Then another girl yelled, "Nadhirah!" and I thought it was her so I came out of the cubicle retorting "What lah!" to discover that she was calling out for another Nadhirah.

There's quite a few Nadhirahs in MJC.

This morning somebody who just woke up actually called to wake me up. So sweet. He sounds so cute when he just got out of bed. ;)

it deserves remembrance

2006-03-07T22:58:00.000+08:00

I've been singing "sometimes goodbye though it hurts is the only now for you and me" ever since last night and perhaps the night before, but today I stopped when I realized.

[120506 at 11pm the post I forgot]

TPJC I LOVE YOU

2006-03-06T22:03:00.000+08:00

Thanks for all the well wishes today, everyone! I woke up with like a gazillion messages received, and as usual YUHABELALA was the first to message me because she hardly sleeps and even if she does it's at an abnormal timing. You bloody owl. :)

I really hope the first day in MJC will not stay like that permanently. I'm convincing myself that such an atmosphere shall vanish once the Admin Matters are settled. Please God please make it as fun as TPJC.

I came back to TPJC after school. I should pay less visits to that school 'cos the more I go, the more I'm beginning to see that I shouldn't have left, and regret is an onerous emotion I cannot afford to be burdened with right now.

Those boys are really something. Gila satu macam sampai boleh jadi pening. My stomach was on the verge of bursting. Blue tongue and cuckoo birds [with comical hand gestures and farcical faces]- hahahaha!!!

Then Wolf Creek. I have no idea why every time it's just us, we always catch a sadistic and morbid show. Maybe it's just him and his obsession with NC-16 shows that's manifesting itself into something disturbing. Hee.

That cute little boy is just full of surprises, really. Too bad the purple ribbon came off, you so cuuuute laaaa!!! And I love the look on his face when I crack TJ jokes. <3<3<3>

French really is the language of love! ;)

"Je vous aime, you idiot."

He Gets Excited

2006-03-05T22:40:00.000+08:00

Come what may, come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day

Akmal is the most adorable thing in the world. He got me this blue file and stuck one-cent coins [which are very rare now] on the cover.

I love my brother!

Goodbye Tampines Junior College

2006-03-03T21:50:00.000+08:00

Great. Just GREAT!

When I leave TPJC then all of you wanna go. You know who you are, and I just want to tell all of you this- I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU!!! Hmph!

After Gubra with Aisyah I passed by that lovely school and it astounds me how so many memories [both fond and beastly] were created within that factory-looking compound in barely 2 months.

I started listening to the songs played during Orientation and especially Orientation Night. GAWD I'm going to miss that place! Oh well there's always the Wednesdays with Min & Sher [IF that ever happens] to look forward to.

Put your glad rags on and join me hunn,
We'll have some fun when the clock strikes one.

MJ isn't going to be so bad and don't any one of you try to flout this ideology of mine. C=

I adore the scene where she hit the husband after unravelling his affair. Hail to women's rights!
"You promised you'd take care of me, you promised Abah you wouldn't hurt me, Jason promised he'd never leave me. This is the new world- no time for such things."

Ouch!

It made me ponder about the complexities of love.
We see Orked and her hubby [can't remember his name] who seem to share this good-humoured and endearing relationship when in real fact it survives by feeding on lies and deceit because he's just scornful scum [Aisyah whispered repeatedly "I want to kick this guy"]. In contrast, we then see Jason's parents who convince me that they could possibly be the death of each other [the mother pushed the wheelchair-bound father down the staircase]. But in the end we realize that they really do love each other, perhaps in a slightly more subdued way.

I hate that scene where she opened the box. Aisyah lah ni... Orang dah diam-diam ko pergi sniff sana sniff sini. I can't imagine how excruciating it is to lose a loved one.

Okay, maybe I can but not the way she lost Jason.

"Do you ever get reminded of us?"
"All the time, sayang."

~~And my heart just shattered.~~

I'm just thankful my love story isn't that complicated, apart from the way he confuses me with his incomprehensible yammerings at times.

Heeeeeeee.

One More Coming...

2006-03-02T21:05:00.000+08:00

The advent of intensified puerile eccentricites.
Insya'allah.

I love babies!!!

*dances around throwing confetti*

Dear Friend

2006-03-01T23:46:00.000+08:00

Dear you who fondly shares bittersweet memories
of times ecstatic as ones hugging trees
Bickering through the sea's gentle breeze
Photographs on staircases, bus-stops, such a tease!
Dear you who wrinkled not only my nose
but theirs too, til we wriggle our toes
Convulsive laughter upon your maniacal shows
of The Stick's threatened throws and blows
Dear you who struck us dumb and blind
Dominated by one with words laced unkind
She controls and restricts, yet you don't mind?
I stopped and stared at the traffic light
Trailed after but you were out of sight

I want it tuned to Before, on the sly and high

***

The intensity of the gruesome-ness of it all was appalling, but the company made it undoubtedly worth while.

Again with the making of stupid faces. Heh. <3

And that cockroach was really the most revolting and ferocious ones I've ever seen! It's as if it understood me!!!

4C BBQ

2006-02-26T09:50:00.000+08:00

4C Barbecue, 250206

The men who cooked.
The man who cooked himself [Kia Tar- haha!!] excused himself from the shot to prattle and glorify his striped hands. *grins*

My Battery Woman came despite her exhaustingly rigorous OGL training. You can hardly tell she's fatigued can you?

"Excuse me? How much weight can this thing hold?"
"We don't know, we don't live here."
"So, 40 plus 30- 70 can?"
"Yeah should be."
"That would mean even I can ride on it."
"Yeah why don't you try?"

*rolls eyes*

My bunch of maniacal juveniles who get high for no apparent reason [namely Karan], dance while buttering the food [Kang Yung] and unanimously refuse to tell me the precise meaning of CC.

I'm a big girl, I can handle it! Really!

We crooned [with perfect synchronisation, I might add] to The Birthday Song to commemorate Joel's 17th birthday, which is rightfully today.

Then they dunked ME into the pool!

Yes, I was seated on the chair innocently when I was beguiled into their plan. They lifted the chair and threw me in.

Naughty, naughty!

Of course, the boyfriend jumped right in to my rescue where he saved me from the grueling grasps of the insanely cold water.

Okay fine, he didn't. He got dunked too. A girl can dream, can't she? ;)

The Plan and The Planners.
I'm The Plan, as you can already see.

The rest of them were upstairs taking turns on the PS2, eyes riveted onto the television screen.

Boys.

We should do this again soon. IRFA YUHANIS BINTE NORMAN you promised to make it up to me for missing this event and I'm going to hold you to your word. Tee hee.

And Jun Jie got me the big box of Guylian chocolates as an early birthday present!! Awww....

How can I not love 4C?

Har Blardy Har

2006-02-24T19:36:00.000+08:00

In 10 years time where do you presume we will all be?

I am in need of something to laugh about again.
Somebody humour me.
I'll take anything, really, especially slapstick comedy.
Hahaha!!

I love AZBZ. <3

MJC- crashed.

2006-02-22T21:47:00.000+08:00

Meridian Junior College?
Crashed!

It's amusing to see people coming up to KY consecutively and ask what JC he is from. Or why they've never seen him in MJ before. Apparently he has the JC-kid look and I couldn't agree more.

The LOVE jacket. Oh how I love it so.

She wants to have everything blue! Oh Aisyah get a clue, you little dudu I want to kill you.
We always rhyme.
Always.

"Name this picture 'Aisyah Lawa' pasal aku lawa."

Then came the soccer friendly against MJC.
Yes I finally attended a soccer match, after the numeral times our guilty-conscience were stirred and agitated for missing the 2 previous matches. The TPJCians were sitting in the middle but the irony of it all is that most of the guys were cheering for our opponent. Funny bunch. Obnoxious, but hilarious at the same time.

"Get Thais to play for you, cos after they eat Tom Yam they'll play damn well."

Honestly I have no idea how guys make their falls look so classy on the field. When I fall it's just embarrassingly clumsy and there isn't any trace of grace in my descent. I also don't know how they can stride so handsomely and with speed! When I run it's anything but examplary of something lissome.

And I came up with yet another theory.
I know why boys are callous.

All their emotions are used up during soccer- dolefulness, tribulation, sadness and anger being the predominant ones, that when it comes to expressing their feelings about other aspects they're just hollow.

It's just a theory, of course. I may be wrong. C=

Perhaps I'll join Girls Soccer.
Faiz of course, scoffed at that statement and told me to "just go play with dolls." He's right when he says I'd get crazier with his mouth shut. But honestly- when he opens his pie-hole it sprouts preposterous things, especially when he emphasizes on the word "Minah" accompanied with multiple exclamation marks.

Clown.

Huda looooves cam-whoring, can you tell?

TJC- Crashed!

2006-02-21T21:49:00.000+08:00

We crashed TJC the first thing in the morning.

No really.
We boarded the bus at SIX FORTY!

We lined up with Zaki's class [you should have seen the way Sher & I scrambled to find it because we were almost late big surprise] but stood at the back with the boys who were mostly clothed in white, and Sher and I conveniently forgot that greens amidst a sea of whites stick out like a sore thumb.

We were so frigging prominent that the teacher started to point, so we jumped to other classes where the girls stood at the back. I think girls should rightfully stand at the back. What if she had a girl emergency? The whole of man-kind would see and that would be just social suicide.

Oh well. I wouldn't know since my class is totally testosterone-free.

Best part is I spent almost the whole day with ANDREA BABY!! But I forgot to take a picture with her in my camera- I only have shots of us in my phone and you know me; there's this perpetual war between me and the MMS-enabling thingie.

"Nad, you know this morning when you messaged me and you said 'I'm here' I felt like aww I miss Nad so much."

I swear I almost teared when you said that.

Karan is so sweet he got me a flower! 2 of the 3 are from him- one of the roses [the one without the thorns I don't know which; the one with the thorns belongs to my sis] and the Hydrangia, which is also known as The Tissue Paper Flower because Karan just cannot decipher the beauty in that stalk.

And secondary school kids seem to infest my aura increasingly recently.
Zaki. Don't you dare laugh. ;)

I am a GOOD PERSON.

2006-02-19T22:16:00.000+08:00

I am a good person.

I don't get pregnant or engage in premarital sex or any form of lewd activites with the opposite sex. I don't do drugs and neither have I smoked or posess any intention of starting that stolid addiction. I don't watch porn and am relatively nice to mankind. And animals, of course. I don't throw tantrums at home [or anywhere else as a matter of fact] and my anger is not malignant. I'm not violent and I don't punctuate my sentences with profanities. I dress decently and have no piercings save for my ears. My hair isn't imbued with red or brown or any other unnatural colours. I'm not a hysteric kleptomaniac. I almost always watch my prayer-times. I don't storm out of the house with complete disregard to my parents' feelings.

There is still a significant amount of probity restored in me, even with all my past sins.

So heck it.
I am a good person and I know how to take care of myself.

Don't Overreact, He's Clueless Remember.

2006-02-17T17:51:00.000+08:00

If you wanna know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss.

It's been stuck in my head since that night and I can't seem to be able to drown it out. This always happens to me. Insignificant intricacies occupy half my thoughts. Unneccessary details, like details of the first dates and first everythings which are, apparently, trivial to the opposite sex.

I would like to buy a hamburger!

Pink Panther is one of the stupidest and senseless movie of all time, but in a good way. It was hard to contain our laughter, eyy Kang Yung? I woood like teh buy a damburgert.

He was found dead.
Was it fatal?
Yes.
How fatal?

What's the deal with my brain? Why am I so obviously insane?

I'm crazy over that LOVE jacket. I haven't been shopping lately and frankly it worries me- I might suffer from withdrawal symptoms or something and you know how hard it is to mitigate such a disease. Or perhaps I'll find something from M Industry. I have yet to own anything from there. Oh I am such a sad case!!

See maybe the laugh's on me and life was telling me a joke.

Good grief do I know about being the brunt of jokes, today especially after the incident at Toys R Us. I don't know what it is [besides the fact that I was wearing my secondary school uniform without the TPJC badge because I misplaced it big surprise] that would make them think I was anywhere near their age. Perhaps I should've refrained from strumming the pink guitar or getting jiggy with the hoola hoops or obsessing with the tiaras or playing with the gigantic plush toys or getting outrightly bemused by the Sesame Streets toys.

I still cannot believe he addressed me as "Girl, girl!" UGH!

But yeah, it was pretty hilarious. If you're not me. And KY did nothing but laugh and indulged Zaki with the details of that mishap.
"They know I'm not your boyfriend because they can tell you're racist."

Spoken like a true friend.
EVIL!!

In spite of you even out of view still I love all of you, I do.

The reasons I go to school.
You make those Econs lesson I attend [hahaha] interesting!

And to another dearest friend of mine who has been too busy with her commitments and newfound friends to even squeeze in a slot for her naddy nadhirah, in case you forgot how I look like.....

Tsk tsk... ANDREA ANG!

Food for Thought

2006-02-16T09:51:00.000+08:00

I wonder, do your eyelashes grow back if you cut them?

And Romario has a nasty habit of pulling his eyebrows. Stop it! Haha!
"Did he explode? Cos it must've cost him a BOMB."

[sorry just had to add that in]

My Valentine

2006-02-15T11:18:00.000+08:00

LOOK AT SHEREEN'S NEW BLOGSKIN!!

Rightfully we should be in Econs tutorial now, listening to that woman who doesn't even know her own shoe size drone on and on about her shopping experiences and other statistics in the economy like we're interested.

We ran from her just now, so I don't know if we're in trouble. If we are, then that's 2 teachers after us. She and the PE teacher. Guess why. *grins*

I'm going to miss everybody here. And to think departing with my secondary school lovelies was heartbreaking enough. I'm going to miss the 10 minutes walk to Shereen's bus-stop every morning [ok not really haha], how we make fun of Muhaimin and leave enormous hand-written messages in his bag [HE KEPT IT!!!], Ahmad and his "braah!" sighs and limited kisses [Hershey's, in case you were wondering], our plans to order McD into the compound that never happened, Ariff and how everything is his fault, the girls in class especially Sufriena, Geraldine, Rachel, Sandra, Cheryl and Hanna darling [and to a certain minute extent, the mop girl], Safwan and his precious hockey stick, his striking red shoes, his "Kekekek" and how he presses the bell while walking past that one particular stall and scurries away immediately, the way he tells us to "Shut up!", how he resembles the Roadrunner, our dancers how can we forget our dancers it began with them, Muhaimin, Shereen, Shereen and did I mention Shereen?

I'll miss EVERYTHING laaa!

And to think it's barely 2 months! All these liasions emerged and evolved and now it's goodbye. I hate goodbyes.

But we'll keep in touch. Unless a certain J2 guy is waaay too busy with Lit and intensive preparation for his A's. Ahem. Tee hee.

But on a lighter note, Valentine's Day was awesome. It began with Sher [it always begins with her I see her at 7 for goodness sake], then the girls showered us with chocolates, sweets and caramel-coated wishes like "Happy V Day honey" in written form, expressed verbally and even via text messages.

Then met Karan [who was LATE and whose eyelashes are worshipped by Sher], who got me such a pretty rose and wrapped the chocolates I bought for myself in such an "artistic" manner I don't think anybody's wrapped it that way before.

Then, the sweetest thing in the entire world [whose smile makes Sher go "Ooh I see his dimple!"] brought me to the romantically-lit Swensens [he claims he doesn't notice the lighting], where we didn't even finish our Vanilla NUT Icecap. Heh. I luuuurve what he got me! The best Valentine's I've had. I am such a happy girl.

No, no.

Exultant.

V-Day

2006-02-14T08:51:00.000+08:00

It's 5 minutes to our next lesson but Sher darling and I are still in the library, making full use of the facilities here especially since I've been deprived of computer-useage at home due to certain circumstances.

Happy Valentine's Day, all! And thanks to those who gave me chocolates and edible food-thingies. And of course Sher for just being here. [Aren't I just as cheesy, honey?]

And to that certain someone who chased after me when I supposedly "stormed out" yesterday. CC=

I am a NINE POINTER!!!

2006-02-10T22:49:00.000+08:00

I'd be lying if I said I'm not ecstatic. Queuing up for my slip was the longest 5 minutes in my entire life, and glancing at the results gave me a sense of eccentric exultance that was beyond comprehension. I'm contented, especially with my grade for Literature.

Moments before the hyperventilaton and abnormal quivering of the heart, where Andrea left her shoe, the freaking genius.

Thank you Mrs Chee I got that distinction!

I LOVE YOU BONGOK/ BAHLUL I DON'T REMEMBER WHO IS WHO; WHO THE HECK CARES!!

Everybody wants a piece of him.

I bet KY was the photographer. I love you girls!

Our TK days are obsolete now.

Andrea was being in a nostalgic mood the other day. What is it with everybody and reminiscence? It's tear-jerking, really. I'll always remember the times together- like how we wouldn't step on grass after reading The Sound of Thunder, how I would take live footages of her eating her greens only, how she and Niz used to gang up on me, how she touches her nose with her tongue, the way we used to look out the window and I'd say "I wish I was out there on the field", how I used to tell her when butterflies were going to mate, how we scribbled messages on each other's papers "surreptitiously", you and your bizarre questions, how she dragged me to the foodcourt to buy 5 papayas and then made me walk her all the way home after that, how we used to poke each other, how I used to accidentally take her writing materials back home with me, how she taught me the proper etiquette in holding a book, how we used to walk around the compound hand-in-hand, how we make horror movies seem like an absurd experience, the way her body vibrated and wriggled after getting poked and many of our crazed after-school activities that bring a sense of intangible ecstasy just thinking about them.

I love you, you paranoid battery woman.

Boys.

2006-02-09T23:00:00.000+08:00

Why do boys have such a frigging hard time in making a blardy decision?

STOP

2006-02-07T22:29:00.000+08:00

To Nur Shereen Khan.
Stop thinking so much like me we can't even play scissors-paper-stone!!!!!!!!!!!

*laughs hysterically*

There Goes My Freedom

2006-02-07T20:20:00.000+08:00

The parents are finally home, after a month of only audio presence.

Goodbye to entertaining Akmal's incessant bickering, goodbye to sleeping over at relatives' houses during weekends and, especially, goodbye to checking the blardy mail! It is such a LOATHSOME CHORE!!!

Mama didn't change a bit. And my father looks like William Stryker.

Last night Sher, Musa and his friends came over for pool. They're a funny bunch, each with their own exclusive label. The ones I can remember are The Boncetis and The Fag, mainly because The Fag made me burst into a set of convulsive giggles when he told me how The Boncetis was endowed with his deific title. After Sher left, the boys and I played this game which I find profoundly juvenile- it's called Find the Word. Like the title, we're supposed to find a word which was imprinted somewhere within the four walls that encompassed us six.

It was seriously gut-busting I tell you! Half the time I was too busy laughing at the whimsical aspects [it occupies a large portion, believe me] of Desmond's personality and how he says he gets high when in an enclosed room. His erratic behaviour and the way he jalan tak tentu arah while searching for the hidden words- seriously it was suuuper farny! The most farcical [if there's such a word] of the lot.

And to think I met them all [save for Musa and Sher, duh] on that day itself.

SYED YUSOF I KNOW YOU WATCHED DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES LAST NIGHT AFTER MOCKING ME WHEN I GOT EXCITED OVER THE PREMIERE OF SEASON 2!!!! HAHAHA!!!

And it was divine to meet up with Athirah after so many years today.
And Yasmin too! I love you, giiirrrl!! CC=

Mass Conversation

2006-02-04T09:17:00.000+08:00

We should have mass conferences that stretch into the obscenely wee hours of the morning more often.

They're a funny bunch; Karan, Zaki, Andrea, Kang Yung and Yuhabelalaaa. Discerning yet retardical individuals.

The parents are coming home today!!!

Fun With Dick and Jane

2006-02-03T20:17:00.000+08:00

I absolutely love having girlfriends to just booze the hours away by surfing the internet in the library, getting amused by every diminutive thing especially when it comes to bloghopping. *crunch crunch*

Of course, we were on the receiving end of a shade over a gazillion dagger stares from the librarian, who courageously came over to give us a warning and then slumped back behind the counter and shot subtle nasty glances. Must've been due to our shrieks and giggles [which we did try out best to contain] after sending atrocious Valentines to our respective significant others. Valentines that consisted of words that make you cringe and have detrimental effects upon your IQ.

Yes, let's just leave it at that. ;)

Min finally took us out! After a month of "okay-but-tak-promise"-es. We caught Fun with Dick & Jane. It was side-splitting, I tell you! I had to literally cup my mouth because it got to the extent where I found it such a scream I almost did actually scream! A bit too short, though. I can never get enough of Jim Carey's manic antics. Sher is right- he is the kind of man you can imagine yourself waking up to.

You know the kind of guys who can amuse you simply by being present? They don't necessarily have to do or say anything [heck just one look of their face is amusing], but merely basking in their aura is thrilling enough. Muhaimin is one of them, along with Safwan and PB. With Min it's like, perpetual entertainment- from his peculiar wrist movements to the way he merajoks like a girl without intending to do so [like how he folded his arms in a huff that's a sight to remember].

Now there's not only "Whatever, Muhaimin" hand movements but also "Whatever, Nad" and "Whatever, Shereen" gestures.

Now you get what I mean?

Fun With Sher & Min

Crazy Conversations

2006-02-02T22:21:00.000+08:00

"You know, you can't just go around telling girls they are fat. What if she gets all depressed and anorexic and it'll be all your fault!"
"Yeah well, at least then she'll look better."

"I love the guy, Nad."
"I know you do."

"Kek! Kekekekekekekek!"
"ARE YOU CRAZY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"
"That's his name!"

"Let me try and unhook your shoe laces with my stick."
*poke poke poke*
"It won't fit you know."

"Eh? Alaaah.. Not that bag anymore."
"I'm a straight guy now."
"Oh so you mean dulu you weren't lah."
"I was and I am."
"You mean you always have been and always will be?"
"Yeah!"

"Eh let's go watch movie today!"
"Really, ok!"
"What happened to your fever, Nad?"
"Eh, can't we go tomorrow, after I take my panadol?"
"Actually I don't have money."
*silence*
"No, I do. Haha."

How can anyone have a phobia of going to school with daily engagement of cracked conversations like these?

Paddle Pop

2006-02-01T19:34:00.000+08:00

With friends like these, school sure is something to look forward to, even with all the mundane lessons you sit through looking at the big clock, wishing time would pass quickly so you can get on to the next lesson and do the exact same thing.

The advent of incessant gossiping, even with Safwan.No, no.Make that especially with Safwan.

My two darlings who are just as ebullient about attending PE lessons as I am. I love you two! CC=

I cannot look at this picture with a straight face.
Seriously! I'm laughing my ass off![Get the pun?]

Orang nak makan Paddle Pop pon susah.
Ape dah...

Satisfying a craving is a heavenly feeling. It's like being a child all over again. I miss being a kid- the carefree and naivety of it all. Too bad TOYSRUS was a tad too juvenile for somebody so I didn't get to play with all the toys today. *smirks*

But then if I was a kid I don't think I'd recognize let alone relish the meaning of liebe, now would I?

I Love Him

2006-01-30T23:33:00.000+08:00

Played pool with him in the evening, and once again I embarrassed myself with my inaptitude in playing the game. I mean, you'd think that shooting balls into holes with a stick would be the most simplistic thing in the entire world. But nay! Its complexity makes me want to bang my head on the table. And sometimes when the ball jumps up, I just wished the ground would open and swallow me whole.

And of course, his skills are no way near comparison with mine, if you can even call my pathetic try in playing it 'skill'.

But being the kindly knight he is, humility was in order. He let me win a few rounds, helped score in my balls when he had scored all of his in, and when I missed he said, "It's okay that was a hard shot." [I refuse to believe that the last one was intended with sarcasm]

I love taking long bus rides with him in the night. We can have full conversations without muttering a single word. C;

"I Love You Too"

2006-01-27T18:09:00.000+08:00

Suddenly the term 'muakable' doesn't seem as disturbing as it did then. It still gives me goosebumps, but in a different way now, after last night. CC=

A few missing, but heck the love is there.

I TRASHED HO KANG YUNG IN POOL!!
And the blardy Arcade machines are nothing but mere felonious money-eaters! Oh the injustice!

The balls I scored in VS the balls JJ scored in.[but in the end he still won]

They love the fan. Gay freaks.

Somebody was complaining that I wasn't as nice to him as he is to me. My guilt was intensified especially since he was right and it was hard even for me to refute the things he stated. So I got him a card and the thanks I get? "Nad, you're retarded!" Oh and did I mention he kicked it on the floor too? Talk about being a cold, calculative heartless scum. My sentiments were there! *chuckles*
I love my friends.I love the one who loathes coffee even more.

I Still Can't Believe He Held My Hand

2006-01-24T20:15:00.000+08:00

It's been almost 4 months since I last heard someone order me to "Run!" and I actually obeyed. PE was strenuous and not only was I to be seen in public running [I can't run for nuts], I had to cover 5 laps around the track! Thank God I had Hanna and Shereen. Why can't they judge us on our ability to stroll? We three do that undeniably well!

But honestly, I don't think I'm entirely healthy. I don't eat my greens [I know, what a shame, I should stop being pretentious in thinking that I'm allergic to chlorophyll], my eating habits are unwholesome and I detest any form of physical exercise, especially if it's to be done outdoors.

I should have the words 'Noxious Sloth' stamped on my forehead.

I will never understand testosterone-carrying species, aka BOYS. After reading CLEO [guess which section], they begin to get kinky, fondling even man-made inventions like the computer. The expression on Safwan's face after going "Feeeeel" was priceless and I want to burst in hysterics every time I see his face. And to think his girlfriend is supposed to be some expressionless "ice queen" from TJC.

Ouh well. Opposites attract.

***

Never give all the heart, for love
Will hardly seem worth thinking of
To passionate women if it seem
Certain, and they never dream
That it fades out from kiss to kiss;
For everything that's lovely is
But a brief, dreamy. Kind delight.
O never give the heart outright,
For they, for all smooth lips can say,
Have given their hearts up to the play.
And who could play it well enough
If deaf and dumb and blind with love?
He that made this knows all the cost,
For he gave all his heart and lost.
Never Give All The Heart by William Butler Yeats

Right now, nothing can stop me. CC=

Ahmad Zaki

2006-01-21T22:40:00.000+08:00

The fact that I can't stop smiling and that my heart is palpitating abnormally are irrefragable evidences that I AM SO FRIGGING HAPPY!!!!
I got my benchmark, afterall. ;)

Wanna bet I'll wake up smiling tomorrow too?

Exultant As I Am

2006-01-21T12:30:00.000+08:00

I woke up smiling today.

[I do realize that sounds too incredulously cheesy to be said by me, but I don't give a damn]

"I'll Never Let You Down Even if I Could"

2006-01-20T23:16:00.000+08:00

I never thought I could love again
Never thought I'd let somebody else in
I never thought I could trust and then
Here I am in love once again
Oh you make me happy
So very happy
Once again

Forget everything else. He smells so harum. I'm in rapture.
*grins ever so broadly*

Oooooh Weee~

2006-01-19T21:48:00.000+08:00

TP Open House.
Musa and Shereen are so perfect together.
Playful worksheet. Rectangles.
The first time I drank iced Milo without being forced to & you know what it tasted kind of good.
Ikmal is psychotic.
Called me 5 times.
Dancing in the drizzle.
Sunday Morning.
Stepping on the toes.
Psychotic ex-girlfriend.
To the lift.

To you who understands, 2 and a half years is a really long time.

I am SO Stupid

2006-01-17T20:01:00.000+08:00

Yes, I know that there's no point in "dwelling in self-pity" [like Syed Yusof had said], but I am so, so, STUPID.

I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID I AM SO STUPID

How could I be so blind and ignorant?! It is true what they say about me! I am oblivious to my surroundings! I feel like such a you-know-what with a capital B!

I am so, so sorry, you.

Karan changed my life today.
[he told me to credit him, so, there]

I CANNOT STAND THE WAY I AM SO STUPID!!!

He Snapped At Me

2006-01-16T21:47:00.000+08:00

What happened today is the exact reason why courting is such a waste of time. It's the same old routine and though the sensations involved are at times tantalizing, it gets pretty wearisome. It's "oh what do and don't you like?" all over again. Then there are the awkward moments and uncomfortable silences especially when he's around my friends. I despise distressing scenarios.

I want it to be cosy. And contented. And merry. Laughter, joy, mirth- I want to dance like a dervish. Somebody who was already a good friend to begin with [Sher I know what you're thinking. And I'm thinking it too C=]. That saves me from a lot of drugding events that involve a whole assortment of emotions.

What the hell am I rambling about? *does the strangling and hitting-head-with-fist gesture*

Oh and I met Rasul today. Splendid surprise, though rather shocking that he broke his voice. I mean, yes, I'm aware that he's 17, but it doesn't quite fit the portrait of the Rasul I used to know. I mean, two years of sitting in front of a squeaky lil boy, and 4 years later bang he's suddenly taller and all masculine with a husky voice.

What a transition.

I love having guy friends. They drop almost everything for you, even if it is to merely go to the Budget Cafe to finish up the peach milk bubble tea you couldn't finish because of horrible, horrible cramps. *grins extremely broadly*

"If you love someone you should tell them you love them every day."
All together now- awwwwwwwwwww!!!!

Starbucks + Him = LUURRRVE

2006-01-13T21:25:00.000+08:00

Sher and I, once again, let our paranoia get to our heads even though we got what we yearned for eventually. Our unhinged minds can cause extreme dishelvement. We earn our own derision, really.

After school I met up with AZ. Haven't met him for quite some time now. I miss the guy, I really do. I miss his scent, most importantly. And to think he came all the way from his house [he skipped school today] to the mosque and took 3 buses to fetch me. *rolls eyes*

We just sat and did nothing but idle chatter. Nothing constructive, as usual, just two people with a long history talking the hours away. I dropped the caramel frappuchino on the floor. So much for getting my hair done right in the library's toilet with Sher. AZ is a better gentleman than AM anyday.

Last night I dreamt of bandung bubble tea. And today on the way to the library we met the seniors- PB was drinking bandung and Arep had bubble tea. There is a deeper meaning ensliced between my dream. AZ scoffed at that, but oh well, the celak thing was more than a mere coincidence, honey.

I have to stop this right now.

a head that was weary
slumped on your shoulder
a heart that was heavy
stained with your initials
a secret that resides within your acknowledgement
yet too soft the chorus
that sings our story
yet the whisper of the melody
is bold enough to make me falter
like a girl
disillusioned and disguised

I hate the way I ~~love~~ you

The sun came out today. Somebody did some talking to the sun, apparently.

Loony

2006-01-12T21:55:00.000+08:00

AM is beginning to keep in touch with his feminine side, and I don't know if that's a positive or negative attribute. When he emerged from the toilet today, the first thing he did was skip to me while saying "Let's go to the library!!" and for a guy whom I've always perceived to have this stoic-Mat persona, that is so so wrong. So on the way to the library I linked my arm around his and Sher did the same to his other arm and the three of us skipped him along merrily. He let me tie his hair with my new purple scrunchie. He HIT me today, and everyone knows it's unconventional for a guy to hit a girl. He's also creating a variation of the mannerisms of saying 'Whateverrrr', but my favourite would be how he rolls his fingers to form the letter W. On the bus en route to TM, he flipped his wrist at my shoulder and said 'Whateverrr'.

As if that wasn't enough, it was such a necessity for him to create such a scene at the road junction.

We were at the traffic light, and there were only a few seconds left to cross the road. Sher and I, being the unhealthy non-athletes we are, decided not to cross especially since Life seemed too precious to be ended by getting knocked down by cars. So we waited. But AM, on the other hand, crossed the road.

No wait.

He skipped!
THE WHOOOOOLE BLARDY WAY!!
It was such a hilarious spectacle that Sher and I burst into uncontrollable fits of manic laughter. We almost went down on our knees! He skipped like Mary Poppins masculinized, with his arms swinging from side to side!

I've uncovered that not only do men falter under ladies' tears, they also yield when we whine. Like in the library when he fervently protested against me reading the back of a book which was full of paradoxical sentencing, he told me to go away. Like, how rude is that? So I whined, "But I want to be with yooooou" and miraculously he stopped his rancor. But he disassociated himself from me because he said I was a tad too loud. Then at Macs [where Sher and I finally satisfied out craving for a Cheeseburger] he wanted to leave, but we were waiting for PB to arrive. So Sher and I went like "Miiiiiiin don't goooooo pleeeeaaaase" and he immediately sat down in the blink of an eye, like a doting father trying to shush his bawling little girls.

There's something about the twirling of handphones that appeases your paranoid and depressed mind.
Sher: "He's never going to come."
Me: "He's never going to reply."
AM: "I wanna go hoooome!"

Last night he asked me a bizarre question that got me pretty freaked. The term 'flingy' seemed very illicit, the way he put it. And I just met the guy, so I was stunned and, well, speechless so I said the one answer that's safe- "I don't know." Today he barely said hi. I'd better talk to him tomorrow.

And today I said his name a lot. Unintentional.

So then AM left and PB finally came and we were on this corny-cheesy stake out. What rhymes with power? FLOWEEEER!!! We met up with two of his friends and just talked and talked and on the way home Sher brought up certain memories that I'd rather left buried.

But besides that and the fact that my CG is completely testosterone-free, today was pretty goooood.

Oh my darling Oh my darling

2006-01-10T22:14:00.000+08:00

Besides the fact that my voice is all coarse, raspy and "sexy mexy" according to a certain someone [tee hee hee], I don't recall being as contented as I am now. JC is something new. It lets me say the pledge on my own, for one, unlike TK. And I have this vim and vigor inside of me- must be due to all the free time we have in between lectures.

It's barely the 2nd week and so much has occured. With Sher, too. Impeccable timing, really. I have this ineffable paranoia that's making things seem so recondite and confusing, but I think it's best if I listened to Sher and just "enjoy it while it lasts".

I mean, it's barely the 2nd week. What's the worse that could happen?

TPJC Orientation 2006

2006-01-07T12:09:00.000+08:00

Shereen has yet to send me the other gazillion pictures we took so I'll just post up my 4 favourites:

The very demented and booming Robo.

Our 2 favourite OGLs Arep and Adam-Omar-AHMAD!!!

Muhaimin was feeling high on retro. See his high pants?

Boys just dont understand the concept of best friends.

And I am charmed by the bloke who can sing and play the guitar.
Supper with the guys was super.

I LOVE TPJC!!!
Whateverrrr~

Tee hee hee!

Today was so crazy fun

2006-01-05T20:57:00.000+08:00

"Today was so crazy fun." - NSK.

We had mass dancing before lunch, and BGB suddenly came up to me, pointed to me and himself and did the "wanna dance" gesture. Who am I refuse, eyy? So we danced. And my hair whacked his face when we were going the snuggle-wuggle thingy. The OGLs have this habit of separating Sher and I. Especially PB. Mmm, I wonder why, Sher.... *winks*

It was Wet Games day. In the rain. How brilliant. I think my OGLs have remarkable coordination with time, because when we were playing the clean water games it poured, but the rain subsided moments before we were icky in mud.

And by 'we' I mean the rest of my OG, because I had hygiene prioritised as number one and had no intentions of being bathed in filth. Part of my "be more feminine and graceful" New Year's Resolution. I stuck a plaster on my knee, and when everybody was gearing up [more mentally than physically, I presume], I pointed to my plastered knee and they drew the conclusion that I was injured and henceforth excused, so who am I to complain? [Although I did say that I fell off the steps with Shereen.]

Then the whole cohort gathered together, awaiting the finale, and while some person [whom I assume held some authoritic significance] was talking, Arep fingered one chuck of goo consisting of harderned flour and wiped it all over my face. He said it was because I ran away from him the first time, or he would've been "easy" on me. So then the finale, which was this throw-your-water-bomb-at-everybody chaos, Sher & I decided to reignite the truth in "revenge is sweet" and bombed Arep instead. He, I'm afraid, had the same precise ideology as us because he dunked a handful of flour ON MY HEAD. Then the other OGLs, even the ones I hardly know, did the exact same thing! And a bunch of other people like Shawn and Ferooze!! I tell you- men are not only foul, they're filthy too. *chuckles*

I felt like a walking bowl of recipe for cake. I probably looked worse.

After that Sher & I sprinted to the toilets and bathed. We were first to enter and last to leave, and thank God when the water stopped running we were in the last and biggest cubile, waiting for the water tickling down our everywhere to evaporate because we forgot to bring towels, unlike some girls who had been star-crossed enough to have the water stop running on them while they were in the midst of their baths.

Then when we emerged from the toilets we returned to the hall. Then BGB came along. And we went home. I know, anti-climax. But I like mystery.

On the way home I felt so bimbotic with Sher, and I mean really really bimbotic. Tomorrow is Orientation Night. *squeals* I can't waiiiiit!!! I hope my sore throat clears up by then, I'd sound less like a man. I was on the phone with AZ yesterday and he said it was "seraaam saaak".

And Mr Yazid is still hot.

Oh and how can I end without... I'm going to die!!!!

I wanna be a TPJCian

2006-01-04T20:08:00.000+08:00

It's been only 2 days of TPJC Orientation 2006 yet it feels as though I've been there longer. Perhaps it's due to the fact that we finish near 5 every single day, but honestly, it's not something to whine about because even though my frazzled nerves seem to be on the verge of disassociating my limbs from their joints, I am having FUN.

Even when we're doing nothing constructive, which is half the time.

Like today, the only monumental highlights were the mass dance and when the 987 deejays came over like they always do every year. There were lectures about each subject from 2 to 4- they're optional but "highly encouraged". Haven't interacted with teacher for months now, we decided to conveniently forget that the phrase "highly encouraged" we have been familiarized with is code for "sit and shut up".

So we left.

Not the compoud, though. Perhaps tomorrow we shall venture into the abyss of Forbidden Dues. Ferooze, Muhaimin, Shereen and I simply sat in the canteen where we discovered that the two boys clearly have lost their sanity.

The dance, which we'd have to do together this Friday night, is a short little funkaaay retro dance which is so adorable. My OGLs are hilarious, loud and obnoxious and they have a liking for pouncing on top of one another and grabbing each others' privates. Boys. *chuckles*

The only blip on the radar is the fact that my horrid luck with public transportations seems to still be in tact. Perfectly in tact. Yesterday I missed 2 buses so I decided to hail a cab with my neighbour, and just as the taxi drove off an empty bus no.3 emerged from beyond the horizon. And today, I missed 2 buses. Tomorrow I shall walk all the way to the bus stop before Shereen's. I've had it with that imbecilic bus.

The TPJC cheer is stuck in my head and it'll take a powerful song to drown it out. Oh please, I just hope it's not some ABBA song. I wanna be a TPJCian, I wanna wear the TP crest.

The house feels odd without the parents. I miss Mama already. Departure was full of emotions.

Whoppadee-doo

2006-01-01T11:56:00.000+08:00

I WANT THAT MOMENT BACK!!

Please please can't I just have maybe just about a gazillion times of that moment back?? That isn't too much to ask, is it, considering it's a life-or-death matter?

Okay perhaps I'm being too melodramatic. Time seemed to freeze, as though it was transient and transcendent to other mysteries in life. Okay shall stop my incessant rants now, or I might sound like a disillusioned WOMAN.

My parents' kenduri:

I don't think she can POSSIBLY get any cuter.

And he had eyeliner on his eyes. Why? Because he made me put it on for him. Why? Because he's just disturbed. We cracked up like there was no tomorrow. Hahahaha!!!

My Heart Flutters

2005-12-31T06:17:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I left the house immediately after Asar to meet up with him, since the boys were taking what it seemed to be forever to get to Pasir Ris. We satisfied our hunger at KFC, where the Popcorn Chicken had been dipped in abnormally too much flour before served. He finished his burger [I was taken aback, honestly] but kept pushing his cheese fries towards my direction. What's new eyy? ;)

Karan called when he was at Simei so we decided to head back to Downtown after calling IY who would meet us there from home. We boarded 15 and he refused to let me sit inside! I'm reassuring myself that he only did that to show his acknowledgment of my capabilities in taking care of myself rather than to earn my vexation [as almost everybody has proven to enjoy doing]. Otherwise, how gentlemanly of him, really.

"I'd guide you and guard you."

The four of us went into the chalet first, and I was deeply amused by the seemingly-colourless chop-thingy they imprinted on our wrists that illuminated in a shade of blue under the special light at the entrance.

Karan came up with the ingenious idea to give his "favourite" bunch of boys a teeny surprise [probably as a token of appreciation for the invitation], so we stuffed all the pillows, even the ones in the closet, in the ice box.

This is evidential proof that he is the sole accomplice of Karan, whose face I did not manage to snap in this act. IY and I were merely spectators of this incredulous feat, and we did help to shut the ice box completely.

We left to bowl soon after, with IY the champion! YES, even though he scored 98, it was out of sheer luck, unlike IY whom had kept a consistent score of at least 7 pins per try [except for her last one, which was why AZ won]. Me? *buries face in hands* Take a wild guess at how I performed.

His shirt says "I am with stupid" with the arrow pointing to me.
That's what HE thinks.

We finished bowling at around 9 and I was supposed to head home already to potong bawang for today's kenduri, but then I got an extension [on the condition that somebody walk me home- my area is dangerous] so we bought food and headed back to the chalet, where we discovered, to out utmost horror, that the stuffed pillows were WET. Freaking WET.

Somewhere in the middle Karan acknowledged that most guys [yes there are exceptions tee hee hee] are mean. IY's theories were justified!

Then came the usual- pillow fights, ice fights [if it had it hit my hair I would've killed those 2 boys], the rampage of mattresses and horrific discoveries of certain stains that we would prefer to remain ignorant about, extensive plays with the handphones and cuddling while watching the TV. IY's head is so heavy at times, I trust that big brain of hers inside would tell her to KEEP QUIET about the you-know-what.

After having our dosage of fun [it wasn't adequate, though, but then when ever can one have enough fun especially when school starts on Tuesday?], we decided to head back. The boys walked me home, all the way to the security guard stationed at the barrier with the "bwinking bwinking" light, where they contemplated to come in for a while. But then he got shyyyy so after I said my Thank Yous and we exchanged our goodbyes, they left.

That's probably one of the last opportunities we have to see each other before JC life begins to take a toll on us come Tuesday. I'm glad it happened.

Really really.
*grins extreeeeemely broadly*

Oh stop smiling you look retarded.

squeals

2005-12-30T15:34:00.000+08:00

Oh my gaaaawd I feel like such a girl all over again!!!!!!

Will be leaving soon, I suppose. Then at night I shall have to make my way to Abang's house to kopek bawang, because apparently that is all I'm capable of in Wak Lah's eyes.

Not that I'm complaining, of course.
Turrah!

Girls Night In

2005-12-30T00:58:00.000+08:00

Let the pictures do the talking. I absolutely love love love loooove my two POSes Andrea and Yuhanis. Girls Night In should be made a weekly obligation!

Stupid people smoke.

Better to be safe than sorry.

Tainted glass.

Oh when is the stupid bus coming?

Andrea they'd be very insulted if I were dictate who we were trying to imitate. HAHAHAHA!!!

My attempt to twirl.

Now you know why I'd never become a ballerina.

In the middle of the road, in the middle of the night. Yuhanis tried to do this but she nearly got ran over by a car.

Guess who is who.

There was a leaf stuck to my foot

She says I got heavier! Wooooo!
"Rock climbing gives you such a high I don't know why anybody does drugs."

Oooh the typical pose of a pianist-in-the-making.

Yuhabelala you were the one who said "Make a stupid face!" and you smiled like a princess while Andrea and I look like retards. Oh how quaint.

The mirror in my room.

My closet. "THIS IS ART!!" Mmmm I wonder who said that.

Andrea's feet, my feet, Yuhabelala's feet.

I love you two. A lot. CC=

So much of a chalet

2005-12-28T22:16:00.000+08:00

So much for Shawn's chalet. It was quite fun while it lasted. Like how some budak yang aku heran betul was fighting a loosing battle with the Mother of Mosquitoes, the same budak who swore he didn't change into shorts, just like how he wore brown all along during the Raya outing. *slaps forehead*

But then somebody wanted to leave, and you know how I am when he leaves. Then IY wanted to leave too, initially for a walk-in job interview at the airport, but eventually because she was dead tired. You owe me a Girls Late Night Out!

Anyway the morning began with me trying to piece together a top with my skirt, which I didn't even wear in the end, much to IY's dismay.
"But I wore my skirt because of you! Either you change or I change!"

Karan and I were slated for lunch at noon but then he called and said he wanted to meet up a tad earlier, so I had to call Karan and tell him I'd have to, regretfully, take a rain check. Everytime I do that I'd be engulfed with guilt, especially since he claims I've "pangseh" him one time too many. I'm really, terribly, extremely, immensely sorry. But I'll still meet you on the first day of school, I promise [unless unforseen, unavoidable circumstances arouse like they normally do when we are to meet], depending on what time our JCs end.

But that was no reason for you to hang up on me, dude! *pouts*
I already promised to meet with him even before we arranged this last-minute lunch. And he is not more important than you. Really, he's not. *grins apologetically*

IY and I had a little chalet of our own, with AA over the phone on loudspeaker. I wonder what will happen to us from next week onwards.
-Why?-
"Cos, I don't want... I don't want..."
-This to end?-
"YES! Precisely! I don't want this to end!"

Sometimes I could swear that girl is psychic.

With IY, it's impossible not to cam-whore around. Our smiles might've been a little strained [see below] because the thought that somebody might make an astonishing rapid dash to our bags and run away quickly with our prized possessions lingered at the back of our minds. But it didn't happen, thankfully.

And ABU also never happened, and this time it's not something to be grateful over. The story of our afternoons, really, sitting and waiting for the sliver of a man to appear beyond the horizon. A man with an oh-so-divine fair complexion, gorgeous eyes and a comely face. A man clad in a polo shirt and baby blue pants. A man whose appearance, as much as we were anticipating it, we told ourselves to unexpect.

Funny, isn't it, the way we think?

Sometimes I feel I've got to run away
I've got to get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me

This tainted love you've given.

And you'll think love is to pray
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way

Take note of the sententious style these lines were written in, in whatever perspections that suits your view.

She puts the 'fun' in dysfunctional.

This is proof that her aiming is just as horrendous as mine.

I was yapping on the phone next to her.

"Where the heck is he? I'll just meditate."

"Take me amongst the bicycles."

See the dark line next to her bracelet? She burned herself with the iron.

There's the dark line against.

I am woman hear me roar!

"I don't wanna look up, I'm depressed remember?!!"

IRFA YUHANIS NORMAN CLAIMS THIS IS ART!!!!!

Yes, happy now girl? C=

I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WAIT FOR TOMORROW! *dances around throwing confetti*

When I came home I was told that Irah locked Akmal out in the back for barely a minute because he was being a pest, interrupting her movie marathon with her friend. She deserves a Noble Prize for that, because she dared venture into boundaries I never dreamt to approach. And though I understand her rage, I don't really think he deserved that. Shut in a closet, perhaps [KIDDING only har har har], but locked out in the back? Scaaaaryyyy~

And I'd rather him bawl and hit me, falling into a state of semi-delirium, throwing maniacal fits of hysterical anger than cry silently.

Yes, I do love my brother.

shopping with shereen

2005-12-27T21:11:00.000+08:00

I can't believe that Sher and I waited 4 years to go shopping together. I wouldn't call it entirely 'shopping', though, because it was far too brief. And I didn't purchase any new earrings, so it wasn't complete.

I realize [actually I've known this my entire life] that I keep interrupting myself while talking. Awful habit. Probably due to my short attention span. I get distracted by the slightest thing. Which is also perhaps the reason why I get excited very easily. Aha... yet another resolution for 2006. Shall try my best to part with my short attention span.

The Parents leave for Hajj in 8 days, on the 2nd day of school. While they're away Nyayi will be watching over our house, an idea I think to be completely trivial and unneccessary.

Nyayi, for one, doesn't even WANT to be our guardian. I, a mere sixteen year old, am able to espy the reluctance in her voice. Even Irah, a girl two years younger with the mentality of a baby rabbit [harharhar] is able to detect Nyayi's disfavour with the proposition. I don't see why The Father doesn't understand it. Perhaps it's his impulsive paranoia that he'd choose to remain ignorant about everything, forgo everything, even to the extent of his own mother's, for the lack of a better world, happiness. And to think I thought happiness is apposite when you ask somebody for a huge favour.

Plus we already have the maid! Irah is starting Secondary 3 next year and I have JC! So the only occupants in the house [besides Embak Mega] is the little one! No wonder Nyayi is displeasured- she'd be bored stiff here!

Let's mitigate things a bit- enough with the excessive use of exclamation marks.

Last night I accompanied Mama to some mosque in Serangoon to attend a syarahan by an American scientist. His speech was entitled "Scientific Proof of the Existence of God." He was, initally, skeptical of the idea of God, being a Scientist. Yet as he delved deeper into his work of research, more questions arose, and the more unanswered they became the more anxious he realized that there must be a Creator. So he studied several religions prior to Islam, but none gave him complete, concrete answers. When he finally read the Quran, all his questions were answered. He converted immediately, without haste. Amazing, isn't it?

While typing this I am watching the documentary about mosques with meagre frames that survived the tsunami last year. Perplexing, really, how survivors witnessed the water parting when it reached the mosque, or how the water receeded when it advanced towards the mosque.

It's things like this that reminds me of the time not too distant ago when AZ said "I'm thankful to be born a Muslim." And I couldn't agree with him more.

Dian is Weird

2005-12-25T17:54:00.000+08:00

I just came home and will be going out again soon but upon DA's request I shall post five weird/ random stuffs about myself.

Here goes...

You know your two front teeth? One of mine is shorter than the other because when I was six or seven I was playing with my rowdy cousins [all boys] and I banged against a wall. I know. Pretty stupid.
I've got a fixation for fictitious children heroes, like Dimitri, Aladdin and Peter Pan.
My left foot is bigger than my right. No, really. It is.
I once got carrot poisoning. My mom was apparently too determined to ensure that her first born child had perfect eyesight that she fed me an immense amount of carrots. And I turned orange. The whites of my eyes, my nails, the hue of my skin.
Ahh... the irony of it all.
I've got a fetish for sharp canines. Like vampires. I find it alluring, much to the consternation of Yasmin Sara.

Whoever wanna do it, do it but my top 3 priority: AA, IY, Sher!!

New Year's Resolutions

2005-12-24T13:44:00.000+08:00

Great. His modem just got busted again so now I'm left with nothing to do while waiting for her to come home so we can go out and relieve myself of this boredom that's suffocating me.

Ahh... the story of my life, really.

JC begins in 10 days. I'm anticipating it, actually. For one, Tampines JC is way nearer to home than TK, so this would endow me with an hour extra of sleeping time. A certain lady named NUR SHEREEN KHAN is in the same course as me so I am thrilled! Sher, it's going to be like our primary school days when we used to do off-the-wall after-school activites! *giggles*

KY and IY have consented to my proposal of them picking me up after school once in a while so we can all "gerek-gerek" around together, as somebody likes to say. Tampines coincides with the residence of majority of my loved ones in TK, so nobody has an excuse not to have lunch with me! Don't you hate it when friends become so despicably arrogant to make time for you?

2006 is approaching expeditiously and before you know it I'd be sitting for A's. Please, Lord. I've barely recovered from the trauma of O's! And yes you poly freaks [like IY, especially IY], don't you grin. Next thing you know I'd be a fully fledged adult screaming at my kids not to play with excessive soap in the bath-tub, in fear that one of them might slip and fall and get a concussion.

Every year, I stick a mental post-it of my New Year's Resolutions in my head, but somehow it always slips to the back of my mind. So here's a list of them:

Be more composed. I'm always speaking in hysterics and going "haha hehe haha" and all maniacal that I tend to digress. Must be more grounded.
Be less sarcastic to everybody [with the exception of AZ since he is learning fast].
Stop trying to read between the lines over every diminutive thing that happens. Being over-analytical is good but not when it comes to your own life.

I think that's it for now. Shall siap sedia now. Turraah~

Aku generasi yang patah hati
Terlahir dengan kondisi dunia yang seperti ini
Aku generasi yang patah hati
Aku harus belajar tersenyum sebelum membunuh
Sebelum membunuh rasa takutku

Stupid boy stupid poem stupid gift

2005-12-23T22:42:00.000+08:00

Rule #1 on giving a girl a billet-doux: make eye contact at the very least and not shove it into her hand while talking on the phone.

So I didn't tell IY exactly why we were heading to TM today. Okay I'm sorry, but I owe you for following me anyway when I eventually told you. And remember- shhh!!

The instant he was out of sight we giggled our way to the McD outlet and ripped the envelope open. After glancing through the first few lines IY and I burst into manic laughter but mellowed down after reading the last few sentences.

Our Emotions:
OMG so funny!! -> OMG so stupid!!! -> OMG DISGUSTING!!!!

And trust me, I'm still revolted.
And AZ didn't help much either. [thank you for the call though grr]

"Takmo buang, let me see first."
-Come down now, because I'm throwing it away once we're done laughing.-
"You kalau tak simpan I tannak keluar or cakap ngan you lagi!"

There is something excessively wrong in accepting a guy's gift for the sake of another guy. It makes it almost felonious. But yes, anything for AZ. ye*
Hur hur. Inside joke. Sorry.

So once my goosebumps dissipitated and IY's face toned down to her natural hue from red out of laughing too much, we just walked around. We went to Watson's only to realize Aisyah worked there. I swore there was this girl who looked like Aisyah from the back, so I pretended to be looking at some boxes while hissing her name through the door. And I didn't realize what I was holding- "grooves for smoother contact".

Go figure heh.

So then after talking to Aisyah near the edge of the escalator [she was on her break] IY just had to decide right there and then to get her hair cut. She doesn't look as balding now. *grins broadly*

On the way home, IY suddenly stopped in her tracks and said "Omg Naaaad!!" and quickened her pace. AND HE TURNED!! He turned the whole way, girl!

"Nad, I want him!"
-Remember to ask him for change the next time.-
"Change? What change?"
-Just find something you need to change!!-

Sometimes talking to her makes me feel less alone. We miss the drama, the excitement, the sensations, everything.

Oh I think my phone is ringing.........

Andrea Ang

2005-12-22T22:58:00.000+08:00

Upon AA's request I shall update.

Let's see... A lot of things has happened lately. Some worth mentioning, some worth forgetting. The episode with him is a whole different story. GAWD. ~~I can't pretend it doesn't affect me. It does.~~

Anyway. My body is aching, especially my thighs and arms. I don't mean to sound querulous, but I'm throbbing everywhere. That's the outcome after you cycle, bowl and walk all the way from East Coast to AA's house.

And yes, I do bowl.
Or, try to, at the very least. I did manage to, miraculously, get a strike on my first try. But from then onwards, abysmal. AA and I had to endure taunts from the "abang-abang".

And AZ signed my name in as "hingooos". How endearing.

The only encouraging words I received were from him, who told me to "roll the ball" and not "throw it". And AA's reassurance that I couldn't possibly be worse than her. Yes. That's pretty much the comfort I got out of bowling. Oh and his long-sleeved shirt too. Seriously, if it weren't for him I would have frozen to death. His scent lingered onto me after I took it off, so I smelled like him for a while.

School starts in 2 weeks. Even though I'm enjoying my hols, I'm looking forward to JC Life, actually. My POSes have been a godsent and I'm surprised we have yet to drift. IY is going to pick me up after school since she has nothing better to do.

I just talked to him. KOD. He's got a crush on this girl, and surprisingly, when he told me there wasn't any tinge of jealousy emanating from me. There wasn't a sudden spurge of memories of us penetrating my head. No hint of our songs playing in my ears. Nothing. I think I'm finally over him. Yeah sure, I love the guy [he took an eighth of my life, as YS likes to say], but apparently I've been numbed. AA claims it's because I've infixed somebody else into my head.

Then again AA claims a lot of things, that Jinx.
No matter. I still love her.

My eyelids are getting heavier I think I should hit the sack now...
This entry has proved, once again, to be completely unorthadox.

Tampines Junior College

2005-12-16T21:47:00.000+08:00

My world just turned right side up.

AA and IY are coming home tomorrow!! Girls I've got loooooads to tell you!!!

Saw 2

2005-12-13T22:36:00.000+08:00

A certain someone who returned from Melaka on Monday night finally turned 16 on that day itself, so in his utmost excitement over becoming a brand new man he decided to celebrate this special occasion by watching an NC-16 movie the exact next day.

Saw 2, to be precise.

Apart from Thirteen Ghosts [which I didn't even watch til the end] and House of Wax [how can I forget the scene where CMM's twin sister pryed open her glued lips], Saw 2 is the most morbid, sadistic and bloody show I've ever sat through. And I didn't even watch Saw 1! I did watch most of the bloody scenes, although I found the opening scene explicitly disturbing. Even though I did not scream. Squeal? Perhaps, in disdain and grossed-out-ness, but not one shriek escaped my lips.

He, on the other hand, grinned at some portions. Or maybe it was a distressed look; I can't be entirely sure it was dark, but I'm quite positive I heard him laugh too. And he calls me a sadist!
"Aku tau, deep down kau tengah kate, 'Yes wow yes!'"
Maybe that's his way of expressing his disgust, because if I hadn't made it clear enough, that show is nauseating. Thank God I didn't eat before we stepped into the cinema or I would've puked all over him.

He also tried to yank my hands from my face. When it comes to shambles and intense gore, nothing can part my precious hands from me.

Not even a saw.

I had a good time. Though rather brief [yes it was far too short], it was fun. Even though we argued half the time, it was hilarious, listening to his rebuttals. And sometimes I just wonder what goes on in that boy's little head because he really puzzles me. Heran betul. Annoying goon. Even though I would SO much like to reilliterate the day's events into words, I'd rather let it play like a movie in my head.

"Why would I be jealous, I'm not a lesbian."

GAWD. I gotta think of new rebuttals. He's getting sharper by the second.

Tut-tut.

2005-12-12T10:18:00.000+08:00

So perhaps I'm not that entirely overjoyed.
Everybody's leaving me! AA left for Taiwan, KY for Japan, K for London, IY for Langkawi and he left on Friday... at least he's coming back either today or tomorrow with the promise of a story which better be fascinating.

"Tell me now!"
"Ask me when I'm back. Ask me now I'll say I've forgotten even though I remember. Kk turrah!"

*makes aggressive gestures*

Meanwhile, The Father has enrolled me in a new Madrasah.
[everybody seems to be quitting Huda]
Actually, it's not entirely a Madrasah. It's more of a two-hour long lecture [8 to 10 PM!!] somewhere at Lavender. I start this Saturday, with IH and brothers.

So Yas, I'm really sorry... C=

High on Love

2005-12-09T13:34:00.000+08:00

*squeals*
I. Am. OVERJOYED.
Haven't felt this way for some time now!!!
Okay I'm leaving now toodles~

And AA this is dedicated to you too. You know what I'm talking about; don't pretend.

BBooster

2005-12-07T22:41:00.000+08:00

They say a picture speaks a thousand words.
Now you've got 5000 words to describe how my day went.
Thanks, Andrea. Love you. Even though you were late and you made me walk you all the way home. C=

this confusion's killing me

2005-12-06T18:55:00.000+08:00

Stop it with your word-plays and your cheeky grins
Stop trying to confuse me with all your subtle hints
Stop it with your half-way dates that only lead to goodbye
Stop reassuring me that you'd never make me cry
Just say the words out loud and crisp
Heck, sing them if you will
Say anything to ease these grooves
'Cos this confusion can kill.

Aeon Flux

2005-12-03T21:43:00.000+08:00

When I woke up this morning I thought my fate was sealed- that I was to be spending the rest of the day at home, pretending that I don't already know the identity of the Teacher in The Da Vinci Code [yes I know I must be the only person who has yet to read it] and other suspenseful elements that has been mercilessly revealed to me without my approval by a certain someone who obstinately insists the score is 1-all.

Then thanks to Karan, I was relieved of my potential doom. He, Fir, Cliff, AZ and I hooked up for a while to catch Aeon Flux, which is a total waste of my 10 bucks [I told you we should've watched Prime!], really. It was long and dreary and boring and there were portions of the story I didn't understand even though we were already an hour into the story. Fortunately, I had AZ to my left, who was just as lost [if not even more] than I was.

There were pretty gory scenes in that movie. For instance, the cat fight in the "library" where Charlize Theron bit her opponent's dangling earring and yanked it off her ear. That was gross. Or the part where she dug into her own flesh to press some device that enabled her to communicate with her friend. Or the part where she dug the bullet out of Goodchild's shoulder and back and covered the open wounds with patches of her own skin.

AZ, of course, whispered cheekily, "You'd like this!" because he has this immaculate misconception that I'm a sadist who bores an unhealthy obsession with blood. Actually I think it's called denial cos I clarify that with him almost everyday now. Tee hee.

So after the movie we helped CC look for a toilet [the security guard incident was hilarious], walked to the surau [where AZ pushed me away from the Nokia handphones for no reason uggh annoying hahha], then tried to eat.

I say 'tried' because some ammateur whose name is not worthy to be mentioned twice in one entry decided to be funny and left me and him alone. Actually it's not that big a deal, really, because frankly I'm used to it and there's nothing really going on. But it makes things.... complicated. And honestly, complication is the last thing I need to be entangled in right now.

There was no drama on the way home this time round, thankfully. There were, however, the exchange of covert looks and stiffled laughters between AZ and I that were pretty conspicuous but I suppose he chose to simply ignore them. AZ and I could barely contain ourselves. But hey, we didn't want to be rude.

And nowadays there's a lot of "Alah layankan aje nanti macam-macam." *shrugs*

Chicken Little

2005-11-30T23:16:00.000+08:00

CHICKEN LITTLE! Mahiya hii mahiya huu mahiya haa mahiya hah hah!
Question: What do you call the instance whereby 5 people team up against 1?
Answer: A CONSPIRACY!
KY, AA, IY, MF and AZ all conspired against me, and to think their ploy was planned right in front of my nose while eating at LJS, where I naively believed that they were gossiping about some salesgirl standing behind me.

Niz: I can't tell you now laa or it'd be too obvious.
Fir: Ya we'll tell you later at 6.
KY: Andrea you know what we're talking about right?
Andrea: Ya ya ya!
Me: Just tell meeeeee!
KY: It's about Lucy.
Me: Who the heck is Lucy?
Fir: Some girl KY likes. *whispers something to AZ, who snorts*
Fir: Ok ok follow my eyes.
Me: *follows his gaze, probably looking like some sedih peh kambing*
Zaki&Andrea&KY&Niz: *laughs and laughs and laugh*
Me: *gets up* Sudah lah I'm going to go wash my hands!!
Niz: Alalala abeh majoooook.

That's Mrs Cedric-wannabe for you. But I have to admit, her cute-guy radar is on the same coordinates as mine when it comes to Robert Pett-somin-whassissurname [except for his eyes]. Flighty and fickle-minded twit who made it so difficult for us to get earrings! And don't even get me started on getting shoes!
"It'll take an hour plus!"

Oh the deceit! And who else the mastermind but HO KANG YUNG!

This shot was taken after I realized what Plan Lucy was. He didn't look too perky 'cos I was pinching him.

KY: Everybody take your tickets.
Me: Alaah why can't you give the guy all in one shot? Hold mine for me.
KY: Fine you're not getting yours then. *gives out a ticket to everybody* Eh. Shit I'm missing one.
Zaki: What?!! *starts to look into his wallet, checking the slots between his notes and receipts*
Me: *freaks out* KANG YUUUUUNG!!! How can you lose my ticket? Gimme yours this is all your fault!
Zaki: Alah just go downstairs and buy another one lah.
Me: Kang Yung! Go get me the ticket now! And I don't wanna sit on a separate row! *wails*
KY: Ahh never mind lah I'm sure the guy won't notice- just don't act suspicious.
Me: Noooooo!!! Go buy me another one Kang Yuuung!! *wails and hits him and I bet my face was scrunched into one that ranked high in the Funny-factor cos KY then gave in*
KY: *laughs hysterically* Nad, did you really think I'd lose your ticket? *fishes out my missing ticket*
Me: *aghast, speechless and turns to Andrea & Niz* He tricked me!
Andrea: *laughs* Yes I know. We all knew.
Me: *dumbfounded* Whaaat?? Hoooooi!!
Fir: I told you we'd tell you at 6.
KY: This is Project Lucy, Nad.

I will forever remember this ticket, girls.
And it was blissful to hook up with AA and vex her in person instead of via text messages and phone calls. Of course, she blames me for accusing her for things she didn't do, even though I merely asked if she was fasting. C=

And she also blames me for making her buy a new pair of earrings [Mickey Mouse, blue, really adorable] even though she has proclaimed her resistance in purchasing them for a month. Curious; she seemed oblivion to the fact that she got it at a cheap price because I bought 2 pairs. Hmm...

This picture proves that my teeth are just as white as his! *inside joke*
I adore taking pictures with him because he hardly refuses [perhaps it's attributed to him being a narcissist tee hee], and the shots always and I mean always turn out astonishingly great. CC=

Him: That duck nye muka irritating sak.
Me: Macam kau lah.
Him: A ah gigi dier putih.

Throughout the whole day, whenever appropriate, he kept doing the brushing your teeth gesture with his hands. And our score is 2-1, with me on the loosing but FAIR end.

At the end of the day this whole drama broke out amongst us and I think I'd keep it within our discretion. Not just because he told me to but because I want to. But just as a mental reminder, you can get through 4 years together and still be unaware of the existence of a certain side or aspect about someone. And today we saw that side. Caught us off-guard, really, to the point of 'speechless'.

But all's well. We're good now.

Ijah is soooo cuuuute!!!!!!!!

2005-11-28T08:24:00.000+08:00

Last night we were at rumah Tok, watching the cartoon movie on Channel 5- Spirit: Stallion of the Something. There was this one scene where Spirit's [the hero horse] girlfriend [she's also a horse- can't remember her name though] was shot. Spirit, lacking the medical necessities to save his girl's seemingly slipping life [once again, this is attributed to him being a horse], simply cuddled next to her, as if all hope is lost. Their cuddling was interrupted as some evil humans captured Spirit, disassociating him from his love.

And you know what?
HAFIZHAH CRIED!!
Yes, my baby cousin who turns 3 next March actually teared and buried her face into her mom's selendang. She is sooooo cuuuuuute!

At the end of the movie, we discover that Spirit's girlfriend managed to duck death and was saved by some Red Indian she had taken the bullet for, so they were reunited once again.

AND IJAH CRIED AGAIN!
Awwww that girl is so smart and adorable I just wanna gigit her.

tkss jalan raya 2005

2005-11-25T11:17:00.000+08:00

When the number of boys are significantly superior to the number of girls, it only means one thing- that the whole day would be filled with endless soccer talks, with the phrase 'football crazy' regurgitated a shade over a gazillion times.

And AZ [who needs to collect 3.40 from me] is still adamant that I pluck my eyebrows, despite his close analysis in the cab on the way home. DEGIL TAU! Ask anybody working in the cosmetic industry and they'll tell you my eyebrows are just thin, not plucked.

"Nampak sah ada shape sak."
"I can't help it if my eyebrows are nicely shaped!"
"Ni part yang dier tersalah cabut, beh ni yang dier tersalah shave."

TEE HEE! C;

"Theee Bridge," Arief said.
We had to walk like a gazillion miles before we reached his house, the last house for the day. There was this incompetent apek who said "Sorry I have no time" when I asked him to help us take a picture. Arief almost flung his handphone at that foul creature's pathetically balding head.

Haziq's three-year-old and five-year-old sisters give a whole new meaning to the word 'adorable'. Kornia and Zaara respectively. Not entirely certain about the spelling, though. They are so CUTE. Mentel betol. There's an uncanny resemblance between Kornia's fancy for cameras and Hafizhah's. And the way both of them strike a pose to get their picture taken. And that cheeky little smile that melts everybody's hearts. Or how they make your eyes glimmer brighter with their laughter. I love children of that age, really.

Of all people, I never thought Suhaina would be the cousin of Rasul. I finally talked to him after, like, 3 years of silence and no-updates. Suhana is so sweet and demure and Rasul is retarded and just simply irritating. He's rather psyched that he's taller than me now, though. Now I have to eat my words.
"Eh engkau! Waah dah lama seh!!"
I miss that guy. Utter coincidence. What a small world is it.

We had fun, despite the boys' craze over PS2 soccer games and having their eyes practically glued to the TV. It's rather humorous, actually, seeing them getting all worked up over a game that involves 20 men running after one ball.

They'd kill me if they knew I said that.

Huda Outing

2005-11-23T08:10:00.000+08:00

I love these bunch of people.
We, the anti-Mrs Tingle crew.

I love these girls.
Gelare's finest customers who forgot the forks.
And took too many knives.
And SH couldn't cut his own waffle.
So I had to do it for him.
Through linking arms and banging into unsuspected victims.
None of us wore heels, tactfully.
"It's like a pig moved into my house!"

Closing his eyes while engaging in a conversation isn't his way of emanating his disdain for you or the topic you're blabbering about. He's simply trying to "envison" them in his head.
"Come on, tell us another one of your retarded stories!"
He should get a PHD on Reverse Psychology.

My mom's ideal son-in-law.
I missed that boat. Tee hee.

I would put up 3 pictures of YS and myself, where YS portrayed a really "elegant" display of a lady-like disposition.
But that wouldn't be very nice.
Naaah... I'll save it for tomorrow. C=

I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-11-21T11:43:00.000+08:00

My eyes are all puffy and I hope it stays this way long enough.

I know, I'm supposed to get the insolent thoughts in my head out, and just swallow the sardonic litany of words that are on the tip of my tongue, on the verge to be expressed.

I'm trying, I'm trying.
But it's hard. GAWD one day I'm going to blow up, and I can't wait for that day when I really lose it. They say it's not in my nature but trust me, all this intense sense of macabre vengeance inside of me all bottled up will not deliquesce into love and merriment that easily.

And then what, when I finally lose it?
A flying TV, perhaps. I've got a feeling a radio wasn't good enough.
[Maybe because it missed me.]

Bersabar.........
I'll just sit here eating the stupid sausages, with every fibre in my body tingling with impatience to grow up, get married and move far far faaaar away.

aku dan bintang

2005-11-19T12:27:00.001+08:00

If I could only express the intensity of my elation when Chemistry Paper ended yesterday at 5.45pm. Fridays never looked so gorgeous.

I can't believe I just sat through my entire O'Levels. When I was in Primary 2 I thought the world would end before I could sit through PSLE. When I was in Secondary 1 I thought I would die before I even got to Secondary 4. And at 12.30 on that fateful Friday, I was almost positive I'd get knocked down by a vehicle before I reached school, because it still seemed unimaginable that I could actually sit through the whole of O'Levels.

As everybody swarmed out of the hall you could practically SEE the intense jubilation radiated off everybody's faces. IY squealed and just twirled her hair in a more aggressive manner. Oh wait that's not such a fair comparison cos she always does that.

YC screamed 'I'm going to buuuuurn Chem!' while KY, Karan and some of the guys practically ran out of the school compound to get their ears pierced IMMEDIATELY. I can bearly wait to see them on Wednesday. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if they came with streaks of blonde in their hair.

So anyway, today morning we went to Bedok Reservoir. We started off brisk walking. Then we decided to be more ambitious and started to jog. But then we resumed to 'brisk walk' mode before we finally gave up and decided to simply stroll. You see all sorts of people with interesting colour combination preferences doing perplexing things when they exercise. There was a nyonya who was forming imaginary circles with her outstretched arms. Then there was this lady, probably in her twenties, wearing shorts that might as well be her underpants.

You see all sorts of couples too, even though most of them preferred running solo, for some weird reasons. There was a grandfather and his grandson, holding hands, while the gramps regaled his cucu with stories from the 1940s, probably. Then we ran into my favourite couple- the perfect elderly couple walking briskly together, where the man let me listen to the song he was listening to over the radio [a Justin Timberlake song] and said it was 'bagus untuk buat Acrobats' and the lady let me quench my thirst because we forgot to bring a waterbottle.

My darling grandparents. C=

Well.
Now that O's are over,
star-gazing, anyone? *nudges AA*

Dan rasakan semua bintang memanggil tawamu terbang ke atas.
Tinggalkan semua, hanya kita dan bintang.